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Through the Eyes of Nisey: Memoirs of a Lost Mississippi Girl Discovering God's Truth and Understanding My Past

Through the Eyes of Nisey: A Memoir of a Lost Mississippi girl by Danise T. Donerson is a whirlwind of events of a little girl growing up in Mississippi. Nisey often wondered why she had to endure the many years of physical and mental abuse while being just a little girl who needed to be cared for and loved by her mama. She longed for the love and care from her Big Mama who took care of her up until her death when she was five years old. The life of hardship began immediately. She had to take care of her little brother and sister while her mama worked her many factory jobs. She learned how to cook at the age of eight years old because her mama didn't know how. Her mama seemed lost and didn't know how to take care of her kids like how Big Mama did. Her mama had a nervous breakdown around the age of sixteen, and Big Mama helped her cope. She had to learn the hard way.

In the seventies, she struggled to find her way in this world. During the eighties, she got help for her mental issues and started taking medication. She often took out her frustrations in life out on Nisey, even trying to take her life and Nisey at the time. She somehow thought they were better off dead in her mind. During this time, Nisey had many wonderful people in her life to help her manage the hard times. During the nineties, her mama felt that she will hurt you before you hurt her. She would cuss out at anyone whom she felt was a threat to her or her children all while being controlling of Nisey's life.

She was married with children, and her mama was controlling her household. She knew in her heart that she did love her. She wouldn't give up on her mama. At the age of twenty-nine, she started seeking God. She took control of her life, and at the age of forty-four, in 2012, she was bedridden from her many back surgeries. Her mama was there for every surgery and almost every doctor's appointment. Something wonderful began to happen, and she and her mama's broken relationship began to mend. There was forgiveness, and an explosion of love filled both of their hearts. When her mama died on May 23, 2019, three days before her birthday, she realized that fifty years of her life was entangled in her mama's life of mental illness. Everything that she had endured as a child and adult was because of her mama trying to cope with her issues. It was at that moment that she realized that this book was about her mama who was like a caterpillar that evolved into this beautiful butterfly. That's why this story had to be written as a therapy for herself and to share her mama's life who had mental health issues. This is a real illness and is too often not dealt with in black families.

--Danise Donerson

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